October 19? You want me to start there? Well, OK, but nothing too exciting happened. Yeah, I was with Mike, like you said. We were watching the Tampa Bay Devil Rays game and sharing a couple of beers. He said if Tampa won, he got a freebie if he ever messed up, and the same for me if Tampa lost. Well, I didn’t see anything wrong with that, so I agreed. At the end of the game Tampa won, and he said he wanted to use that freebie. Apparently he’d already messed up. He told me he’d fucked my girlfriend Hannah when I was studying abroad in Spain. Of course I was angry, but what could I do? I already agreed to forgive him if Tampa won, and Tampa won. So I forgave him.

Sorry, what was that? Yes, of course I’m sure that’s what happened. Wouldn’t you have forgiven him if you made the promise? No? You’re not a very good person, are you?

Now where was I?

Oh yes, that’s right. A few days later Mike and I were thinking about how we were going to graduate soon and had nothing planned for the future. Everyone else seemed to have something planned. Brian wanted to get a Ph.D. in literature, Sarah wanted to be an elementary school teacher and Brian thought maybe he would start his own restaurant.

No, Brian was the restaurant guy, Daniel was the Ph.D. Please get it straight.

Mike and I decided to start our own rock band. I would sing and play the lead guitar and he would rock out on the drums. I’d never played the guitar before, but Mike had been playing the drums for years, and I knew I could pick up the guitar quickly. I’ve always been able to learn things faster than most people, especially when it comes to instruments. I picked up my fourth instrument freshman year of high school. We called ourselves Hot Fuss.

In less than a year, Mike and I had a bestselling album titled Bay Devils. Everyone was wild about us. Girls would stop me in the middle of the street to ask if I could sign their napkins in lipstick, following me around from store to store like lovesick puppies. It was a scary time for me, because all their boyfriends would watch me enviously, and I knew they were just biding their time to beat me up or kill me. I withdrew from my friends and family to devote my time to my music – sorry, my and Mike’s music. Eventually it was just the two of us, rocking out together and drinking beers on my faded brown couch, just like we always did.

It wasn’t long before our producers wanted us to perform a concert. I saw signs advertising the concert long before they told us, but I understood that they were worried about telling me to travel to France to perform in Live 8, since I hated leaving my apartment. Finally they did, and I bought the ticket for the show and my plane ticket and flew to France with Mike. He sat beside me on the flight. He wasn’t happy since we weren’t sitting in first class, but I was more unhappy since I had to pay for both our tickets. I didn’t tell Mike that because I didn’t want him to think he owed me anything, even though he had fucked my girlfriend. But he was my best friend, and I promised to forgive him. I wouldn’t make him pay for his ticket because I didn’t want to upset him anymore.

Mike and I had two days to explore Paris before we had to perform. I was glad to be in another country because no one seemed to notice us, not even when I climbed every step of the Eiffel Tower on my hands.

The Eiffel Tower isn’t as pretty as you think it would be, similar to my girlfriend Hannah who Mike had fucked, and my arms were aching by the time I reached the second level. They wouldn’t let anyone go up to the highest level except in those creaky elevators, but the line was really long, and I didn’t want to wait. I tried to get to the front of the line because I was in Hot Fuss, but the guards didn’t recognize the band, so I had to wait like a normal person. It sucked. When we got to the top, I couldn’t find Mike for a few hours, and I yelled at him when I finally gave up looking for him and found him on the ground floor. He said he was scared of heights, of falling and dying, so I forgave him even though Tampa hadn’t won again.

The next day we floated down the Seine River. Then I was angry at Mike because I wanted to climb to the top of Sacre-Coeur, the sacred heart, but he wouldn’t go with me because he said he didn’t have the heart. I told him I would go without him then, but he said I wasn’t sacred enough and convinced me to take the Metro to Napoleon’s Tomb. I didn’t regret it as soon as the glittering golden dome came into view. We walked inside and stared at the tomb in the middle of the building. Mike thought it would be funny to jump onto the coffin and tear it apart to see how little Napoleon actually was compared to the size of the coffin. When I didn’t laugh we decided to go. We came back to the hotel early that night. It was a small room with a bed that collapsed when you sat on it. I got a lot of sleep for my big day.

The Live 8 concert took place at Versailles. Louis the Sun King trapped all his nobles here in a gilded cage. That’s what I learned my sophomore year, in my European History class. I got a 5 on the AP test, which shows that I could learn quickly and produce a best-selling album in a year. I realize it’s a difficult thing to do but not impossible. I mean, I did it, right?

Mike and I pushed our way through the crowd to the stage. The French blew smoke in my eyes, shouting, “Salaud!” after me. I’m not sure what it means. It must have been something like “Bravo!”, but in French not in Italian, like in the Phantom of the Opera song when the Phantom congratulates Christine on her performance. That kind of word.