This rant won’t be too long. I just needed to sound off about something that I noticed lately in the movies. This past winter break, I caught up on all the movies I have missed over the last semester as well as the new ones that just came out. This is the problem: it really bothers me when the movie industry takes really great movies, which make a lot of money, and then turn them into crappy trilogies to cash in from devoted fans. Case in point: Ocean’s 13.

For those of you who don’t know, Ocean’s 13 is the sequel to Ocean’s 12, which was the sequel to Ocean’s 11, which was a remake of the 1960’s Rat Pack version of Ocean’s Eleven. These movies seem to get crappier as the sequels increase. The 2001 remake of Ocean’s 11 was actually regarded as a better movie than the 1960’s version starring Sinatra, Martin, and other Rat Pack members. It raked in 184 million dollars in the United States, and over $450 million worldwide. This killing of a profit undoubtedly led to the creation of Ocean’s 12: a pointless sequel with the intention of making even more dough. Somehow, despite its crappiness, it managed to bring in 125 mil: nowhere near its prequel, but more than its budget. Even so, with all that money made, Ocean’s 13 was lurking around the corner.

What really gets me angry about these situations is that most people, myself included, are almost obligated to see the sequels of pretty decent movies. Because the first was so good, we go to the sequel with the mindset that it will be just as entertaining. We forget what our past experiences with movie sequels have taught us, and we are inevitably disappointed. It is also not unusual that the atrocious sequel we inevitably see ends at a cliffhanger that practically draws us in to see the third movie in the trilogy. If I have paid $9.50 to see a movie, I would like to know the ending. Let us not forget the Pirates of the Caribbean experience—millions flocked to the theaters to see the sequel to The Black Pearl, entitled Dead Man’s Chest, making it one of the highest grossing films of all time. Millions were also let down as they discovered, after sitting in theaters for hours waiting for some sort of conclusion, that the resolution would not be revealed until a third movie. I was never more frustrated in my life.

The Matrix saga took a similar path. Wikipedia says it best: “The [Matrix’s] mainstream success led to the greenlighting of the next two films of the trilogy, The Matrix Reloaded  and The Matrix Revolutions. It was a number of years and several iterations of scripts before the final movies were approved. The two sequels, which tell a continuous story rather than being stand-alone episodes, were filmed simultaneously and released six months apart.” Neither of the following films did any justice to the original. The first Matrix was high-tech, action packed, and funny (if you consider the fact that Keanu was the star). It even beat out Star Wars: The Phantom Menace for special effects that year. In short: it was pretty cool. The next two films, theologically metaphorical and pretentious (Jesus and all—sorry to whoever that offends), were disgusting.

Maybe I shouldn’t be too harsh. People have said to me, in response to my cynicism, “Well, if you go in not expecting much, then you can be like ‘hey those are some pretty cool robots.’” While “pretty cool robots” are often in my wheelhouse, if I am paying ten bucks, I want to see more than just special effects. I’ll save my robot-packed action viewings to rainy day weekends and OnDemand.

And, honestly, some of the trilogies aren’t too bad. I reserve this statement, however, for those trilogies that were written as trilogies, and intended to be released as such. Star Wars, for example, is one of the, in my opinion, greatest trilogies of all time (I’m a space geek, I know). George Lucas wrote all six movies (both trilogies) prior to the movies’ release. The Lord of the Rings trilogy, the “counter-nerd trilogy” to Star Wars as Clerks II put it (if you haven’t seen Clerks II, go see it now—that is one worthy sequel; I can’t wait for the last installment of the potential trilogy), were filmed simultaneously. The Matt Damon flicks The Bourne Identity and The Bourne Supremacy are actually the first two installments in a trilogy of books by Robert Ludlum. These are usually the only trilogies I can stand, as the sequels are not just made for marketing schemes, even if they still rake in the cash.

I hope that you have taken away something from this rant and will subsequently look at movie trilogies differently. As for me, I am not going to see Ocean’s 13, although I will be tempted at every turn; as I said, we are drawn to these movies because of their original film’s popularity and appeal. But truthfully, I hate George Clooney (he gets all the girls), and I cannot stand the fact that Julia Roberts plays a crook. Don’t take my word for it, but if you find yourself in theaters watching this potential crap, I wouldn’t hesitate to say “I told you so.” Maybe you’ll learn your lesson (maybe we all will) when they release Ocean’s 14!