Like just about all things in life, I joined First Call for a girl.  In an effort to impress a certain someone, I decided that I would join the only weekly undergraduate magazine at Penn.  I thought becoming a writer would demonstrate our similar interests or perhaps illustrate my amazing qualities.  It seems that thus far my writing has failed to do any of that; however, writing for First Call has been one of the greatest decisions I have made upon coming to Penn.

A little over four months and five articles later, I am a columnist.  I’m not exactly sure what this means, except that I get my picture on the top of my article page and that I have to submit at least 700 words for every issue.  In any case, much has changed in my life as a result of FC.  I’ve received some great email, great comments, (some not so great messages), and it has also caused me to become closer with family and friends.

After publication of my very first article, I received an email with the subject line “article goodness.”  The email read: “I read your article in First Call and I really liked it.  I’m sure you got a lot of responses from it.  So, *awkward pause* (why skip the awkward just because it’s an email?) want to grab dinner sometime?  If you take that seriously, then I meant it. And if not, well of course I was kidding.  Anyway, your article was great.  Best of luck with your search.  Claire M.”

I think that this may be the nicest email I have ever received (and not just because it’s the only email in my inbox that was not about buying stock or available internships).  But if you know me, or have read anything I have ever written, you should know exactly what I did.  I got scared and didn’t write back.  Although that email was exactly what I wanted, I still chickened out.  Sorry, Claire.

Along the way I’ve received extremely mixed comments.  From the good: “Nice article! I never really read First Call until this year, and I have to say you’re one of my favorite columnists. Your columns aren’t necessarily the most incisive or innovative, but they’re incredibly honest and sincere, and I like that. Being so used to some of the bullshit in the DP, I love reading these kinds of articles. Keep up the good work!”   To the bad: “What an emo article. Putting this out there for all your frat bros to make fun of you over seems risky dude. Consider starting a diary. Or else, man up and keep your feelings bottled up until one day you snap and kill somebody like the rest of us do.  Or just deal with the ridicule you just set yourself up for. Also, your roommate is an idiot. Do not shave your eyebrows – it will make them look horrendous. Plucking is the way to go.”  To the ugly: “Daniel, Your mother and I are so proud of you. Imagine if you still wet the bed?  Now that would make for a funny roommate story. I can’t wait to see you on turkey day, Dad.”  This was not posted by my dad.

More important than anything else, is that FC has brought me closer to my family (including my real dad, not the person who poorly imitates him).  Upon graduation from high school, my parents bought me a card to congratulate me.  The message on the inside of the card ended with the words “let’s always stay close.”  At the time this confused me - I didn’t know how it was possible for us not to remain close.  I am an only child who lived at home every day of his life growing up.  Turns out, my parents were right.

When I arrived at college, I hit the ground running.  I took advantage of the best that college had to offer: independence.  I have definitely changed a lot over the past two years (for the better I hope), and it’s hard to keep my parents updated.  They are the most important two people in my life, but it’s possible I see them the least.  Summers are spent at camp, fall break is spent visiting friends, winter break is spent in Israel, and spring break is spent in Canada.  As my dad recently put it, “you have your own life now.”

So you can imagine my parents surprise as they stumbled across my articles out there on the internet.  Needless to say, phrases like “fuckin’ bitches,” “crazy drugs,” and “hooking up with boys” didn’t sit well with them (keep in mind they definitely don’t read Punch Bowl and 34^th Street – magazines definitely racier than our PG-13 rated periodical).  I don’t fuck bitches, I don’t do drugs, and I don’t hook up with boys.  But isn’t “all I want to do is hook up with a boy!” a better a better exclamation than “I hate girls!”?  Despite the confusion, it has made our family as close as it used to be.  My parents now know the biggest issues going on in my life, and that makes me happy.

The morals of the story are this: First, if you know me, you’re going to have to trust me.  I’ll keep writing, you keep reading.  Try not to get too freaked out, and remember that everything I do has a purpose. Second, write for First Call next year.

As my last article of this school year comes to a close, I’d like to leave you with the first paragraph I ever wrote for FC.  It was cut out of my article because “Although it’s cute, it detracts from the actual article.  It’s pretty much what we love to do: disclaim ourselves a lot before getting to the point. Disclaimers aren’t needed – your writing is good enough to stand on its own without any explanation.”  This was by no means an insult, but my first paragraph explains my driving force. And if the editors cut it again, I’ll kill them.

“I am not a writer.  However in order to make it through high school and into college I had to write about everything from Shakespeare’s sonnets to the Spanish Inquisition to Rutherford’s gold foil experiment (who doesn’t love a dense nucleus?).  I did not enjoy writing about any of these topics, mainly because they suck, but I discovered that I did enjoy writing about some things.  Someone somewhere once said that we should write about things we know, so that is what I did.  I enjoy writing about myself, because it is the one thing that I know better than anybody.  While my friends were relating inspirational quotes to Othello on the SAT IIs, I was writing about how much I love camp.  In any event, my writing has brought me here.  I am not a writer, let alone a First Call columnist, but I am a guy who thinks a lot.  I’m a guy who thinks a lot about relations, making it big, and uncovering the meaning of life.  Wish me luck, because here it goes.”