I routinely sleep through my alarm clock.  I always seem to begin my day by throwing on the first clothes I see and racing down Locust Walk five minutes before my eleven o’clock class.  I pass countless banners and feel flyers shoved into my face.  As I am always running behind schedule, I usually don’t find time for my morning coffee until half past noon.  Struggling through caffeine withdrawal, I muster all my strength to ignore the screeching student body: “come hear Penn Jazz… help out the Penn Dems… buy tickets for the Pan-Asian Dance Group.”  When my first class gets out, I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel: Starbucks.

“Hi my name is Erica and I’m a coffee-oholic.”  I was first introduced to coffee during my junior year of high school.  I liked the taste and the aroma.  I enjoyed the social experience of going to cafés with friends.  I loved the buzz of energy that rushed through my veins every time I sipped it.  I used to be in control of my coffee consumption, but now the coffee controls me.  I get grumpy without my daily fix, and my head throbs if I don’t down a few cups full of caffeine.  I know this addiction is “unhealthy,” but I feel like that’s a petty concern.  I am sure that I am not the only Penn student suffering through this, so I have decided to uncover the truth about coffee. 

As it turns out, the scientific literature does not fully support my “innocent caffeine addiction” theory.  Apparently, negative symptoms include restlessness, nervousness, excitement, insomnia, flushed face, gastrointestinal disturbances, muscle twitching, rambling thoughts and speech, tachycardia or cardiac arrhythmia, and death.  The list of cons seems pretty overwhelming, so I try to reason my way through them.  I can deal with restlessness, nervousness, and excitement.  That is what the gym is for: getting rid of my coffee energy.  Muscle twitching and rambling: I am lucky my friends love me.  The flushed face: I need blush anyway.  Gastrointestinal disturbances: gross.  But tachycardia, arrhythmia, and death: okay, I’ll ease off the coffee.  Maybe. 

As a loyal fan of coffee, I feel the need to research other opinions about the beverage.  There are two sides to every story.  My favorite drink must be associated with a few good things, or else I wouldn’t be addicted… right?

Fortunately, it seems that nothing is ever entirely bad.  I am thanking my lucky stars, because coffee does not increase a person’s risk of developing cancer, high blood pressure, cardiovascular disease, infertility, or osteoporosis.  Quite the contrary, coffee may be helpful to the human body in several ways.  The beverage has been linked to preventing heart disease because it increases physical performance and endurance.  Coffee also causes blood sugar levels to remain higher for longer periods of time, so it is perfect for students who need extended brain power.  It seems to me that caffeine can be very helpful to all people, especially students, when taken in moderation. 

So, here I am, still a coffee addict.  I am more informed, but a coffee addict nonetheless.  Will my newfound information change my lunchtime thirst quencher?  Probably not.  After my thorough research, I still don’t think I will die from my caffeine addiction.  After all, it takes ten grams of caffeine to kill most people.  One cup of coffee has one hundred and fifty milligrams.  You do the math.  As far as I am concerned, coffee is still just an innocent little vice.  I will never be given a DUI by a police officer because of my choice of beverage.  I will not permanently destroy my body because of my addiction.  I may be a little hyper, but that can make me more productive.  My cheeks might flush, but I will just look rosy.  My blood sugar will stay elevated, and I will have more brain power.  I will be more productive, attractive, and intelligent if I drink my favorite beverage.  Honestly, I forget why I was ever thinking about living a decaffeinated life.  If you aren’t already drinking coffee, I suggest you jump on the bandwagon.  Make sure you hurry though, because coffee drinkers move quickly.  We can’t help ourselves!