ACROSS

4. Thanksgiving wouldn’t be the same without this. However, according to a special on food network it was not present at the first thanksgiving meal.

7. Without this sport Sunday wouldn’t be the same. Beer, betting pools, and missed field goals make God’s day what it is.

8. Dance without this, and you’re crazy.

12. You sucked on her breasts. Come on.

13. This President who loves all her Penn children – even the ones who dress up like terrorists. Too bad the Halloween party sucked this year.

15. These people found America and gave the Indians syphilis.

17. Rumor has it you only get these on your birthday once you leave college. Especially if you’re married.

20. They provide undergrads with free beer. They prevent girls from saying “Why can’t I find anyone to sleep with me?”

24. It keeps us all awake during those excruciating Chem 101 lectures. It also makes us poo.

25. They travel to Penn once a week and give us the chance to stock up on real food.

26. Man’s best friends.

27. Without these, girls wouldn’t be able to adorn their ears. And porn stars wouldn’t be able to adorn their…

DOWN

1. Without these I would see your penis.

2. Someone has to keep up our rankings in U.S. News and World Report.

3. They keep you warm. And it’s about to get cold!

5. “________. All I ever wanted. ________. Had to get away.” Thank you Go-Go’s.

6. As much as we hate to admit, we’re all thankful for this. They send us to college, pay for stuff, and tend to support us.

9. Benny really likes this movie trilogy. I think it’s totally lame – as is Benny. Think Mark Hamill.

10. This company’s office programs make it possible for us to use computers. Without them we’d be stuck with notepad.

11. Cowlick cover-up when there’s no time for a shower.

14. Without this invention I would have nothing to do with my time. American Idol, Gilmore Girls, Grey’s Anatomy, Desperate Housewives, Entourage, Weeds.

16. This makes you sleepy when you eat turkey.

18. This president’s term is almost up!

19. These prevent us from constantly standing.

21. This Egyptian has special sauce for you.

22. I’m sure thankful I didn’t ____ my last midterm. Good thing I avoided the compass.

23. This is proof that God loves us.