Dear Fist Call posse,

Hope you all had a delicious Turkey Day, and ate lots of food.  Now that you are back on-campus, hearing about 100 page papers and insanely hard exams, the FC team is going to tell you one more unfortunate bit of news: This is our last issue of First Call Magazine for the semester.

Don’t worry.  We have an amazing issue to keep you busy until next semester.  After all, you will need some entertainment while you’re busy hiding in your dorm room, protecting your undergarments from the campus “panty-snatcher.”

Speaking of undergarments, this issue has some tabloid-worthy, illicit material in it.  The First Call contributors have topped the news about the shooting at Club Wizzards.  They have exceeded statistics from sex surveys.  Crazy, juicy articles are just a page-turn away.  We’re talking lesbians, people!  Check out Michael Field’s article, “Portals are for Lesbians.”

In less risqué Penn news, the FC team has recently branched into a new creative field: design.  We have assessed the décor of campus, and decided to just completely ignore the “Dueling Tampons,” “Impossible to Sit On Benches,” and “Ridiculously Large Wire Bells” sculptures.  But what’s up with the newest addition to campus?  The two-tone stars on Locust Walk… not working.  With our newfound decorating abilities, we would like to officially advise Penn: pick a color, and stay with it.

As for this even more creative staff of ours, we will be going through the yearly staff transitioning period next semester.  Team FC wants to officially say “Thank you for making us such a great magazine, Shira!” to our Editor-In-Chief.

And to you loyal readers, who love us as much as we love you, we would really enjoy having you as a part of our team!  So, come to our next meeting.  If you think we are intimidatingly intelligent (made-up words notwithstanding,) and hysterically witty in print, wait until you meet us in person!  We promise to have and to hold you, for as long as you are as cool as we are.

We can’t wait to meet you soon, but if we don’t see you before Winter Break, enjoy the holiday season.  Drink hot chocolate, but don’t burn your tongue.  Ski, but don’t break your leg.  Relax and catch up on your reading.  Especially First Call.  A few times. 

So, in a closing appropriate for the holiday season, and my truly gangstaaa self,

PEACE out.

Erica Tobin

Assistant Editor