ACROSS

1. Get some awful Mexican food at this shamelessly College-soaked BYO. Make sure not to dance on the tables, though. They charge extra for that.

3. Philadelphia is the _____ capital of the world. Get a cheesesteak or an egg and cheese.

5. Don’t forget to check out this brand new skyscraper/temple to Philly’s cable monopoly.

6. As soon as spring starts, head down for Dollar Dog Day and watch these guys get hammered by the rest of the NL East.

9. Get into the livestock business and raise a herd of these rats with wings.

10. At this place you may enjoy ballet performances, classical music, and a very cool, gigantic glass ceiling.

14. You could always just grab Amtrak at this station to escape Philadelphia.

16. Visit ___ city, well-known for not being new.

17. Stroll through this square, enjoying the sight of luxurious hotels and sleeping homeless people. And yes, it’s named after the same guy as DRL.

19. This former train station is famous for its cannolis and Amish stores.

20. Get around using this public transportation system. It’s clean and safe and efficient. Heh.

21. Whatever you do, do not swim in this river. If the chemicals don’t get you, the rowers will.

DOWN

2. Run up the steps to this place. Then check out some Picassos to feel cultured even though you just mimicked Sly Stallone.

3. King Tut just left this museum, but you can still walk into the giant heart. Ben would be so proud.

4. Animals like to chill here.

7. Head over to this place, which is surprisingly not an airstrip for our wonderful university but something much less exciting – Philadelphia’s waterfront.

8. Learn how much fun a 200-year-old legal document can be at this National Center.

11. Visit this city across the river. It’s home to Campbell’s soup and frequent gun crime.

12. Like every tourist to this city, visit the ___. But never go inside; stay outside and look through the huge glass windows from a few yards away. It’s just a crack, anyway.

13. Look at this impressive governmental building. And yeah, that’s William Penn on top, not Franklin for once.

15. Visit this nearby university, known for Bill Cosby and frequent gun crime.

18. Who needs an embassy? We have all the Sweden we need at this store in South Philly.