It started because we were bored.  No other reason.  We tried growing facial hair first  I think everyone does that  but it didn’t do too much for us.  “It’ll be a vacation from yourselves,” someone told us.  But it wasn’t true.

The next thing we tried was changing names.  It sounds pretty easy, but it wasn’t.  Do you know how hard it is to call someone by a different name?  And to respond to a name that’s not your own?  The goal was to get as fluid as possible.  It took about a month, but we got pretty good.  Then we sort of realized, hey, what’s the point?

After that we pretended we didn’t know each other.  It was kind of fun; it taught us a lot about how people are, how we tend to act towards people we know.  It was difficult to not look at him when someone in class said something stupid or to pretend like I didn’t know him when we passed each other on Locust.  It got lonely though, so we stopped.

“I have an idea,” I announced.

“Yeah?”

“How long do you think we could not spend money for?”

“I dunno.  Maybe like a year.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

So we tried.  Our goal was a month.

Breakfast was easy, because we didn’t eat breakfast.  And dinner was easy, I’ll get to that.  Lunch, though… lunch was a bitch.  I joined the American Society of Southeast Asians, so Wednesday was covered.  D signed up for club squash because they had team lunches twice a week.  Most people didn’t mind if he brought me.  Friday was the best -.—s;part, or the harder parts, werejust .went ,W— plenty of fairs.  And the rest of the time, well, the rest of the time we scavenged.  We’d usually panhandle one day a week, Tuesdays, but only because it was fun.  The other days it wasn’t hard to find leftovers lying around Houston or to talk to the food cart people right before they closed up.  “Are you going to just throw that away?” we asked.  It was easy.

Dinner…  Well, I had volunteered at a soup kitchen first semester  you know, give back a little, pay it forward. So we just went there.  Sure, it was a little awkward because they all knew me.  But then, you know what?  They got over it, and so did I.  It was better, too, because I didn’t have to prepare or serve the food.  Here I was doing less work and they served me.  Can you believe it?

The hard part, or the harder parts, was drugs and alcohol.  Well, the alcohol, that was easy.  We went to Smoke’s, like we always did, and we just stole beer.  We didn’t even really steal it.  People left unfinished pitchers around, so we took them.  No harm, no foul, right?  “But how’d you get in?” you ask.  What about the cover?  Well, I know the bouncer.  I’m also twenty, by the way, so he really came in handy.

And the drugs, what about the drugs?  Easier than you’d think.  If you go to the right places, things just get passed around.  It’s not about knowing the right people; it’s about knowing the right places.  There’s this bar at 50^th - it’s nothing like Smoke’s, and people just get high there.  They don’t even go to the bathroom.  It’s not my favorite place, but it was good.  Good for the time, at least.

We made it, though.  We made it the whole month.  It was fun, a good challenge.  I was definitely less bored, I can say that for sure.  Am I glad it’s over?  Yeah, I am.  D wanted to go another month, but I said no way.  It was good for what it was, but I’m glad it’s over.  I think I missed Bui’s the most.  I fuckin’ love Bui’s.  I go there everyday now.

I know what you’re gonna ask — what now?  Am I right?  I know I am. 

Well get ready for this  it’s good.  We’ve already started, in fact.  We’re  not going to shower.  Instead, we’re going to take baths.  No big deal, right?  Too easy?  Well we’re gonna do it for a year.  We’re gonna take baths for a whole fucking year.